your child to you!

Today Sofiyya had her last vi-sit session at the nursery. She is starting tomorrow inshaAllah. She seems to like it there. However, I am not really sure how she goes on as she has always been very clingy to me.

Anyway, today she had her last visit session to help her settle in well. Unlike the first two visit session where I stayed and played with her, I was supposed to leave her and wait outside. So, I sneaked out without her realizing mommy was gone.

The nursery is located inside a big building that has everything- primary school, community centre, children's centre and family services. I went to family services where they provide a nice lounge for parents. I sat on the sofa and picked up one of the books from the corner shelf. Interesting, very interesting. Bradford Council has a Parental Involvement Learning Group that helps parents how to help with their children's learning. I sat and read that small book called Let's Talk- Ideas in 40 minutes. And I think I learned or was reminded a lot of things that I learned in the past.

I just got back from the nursery and put Sofiyya to sleep. While my feelings of the book still fresh, I decided to jot down some thoughts. Here comes your child, talking to you. How can you help her learn better and have a better understanding of the world around her/him? Talking, explaining and playing tips

1. Travelling a long journey- why dont you keep a small notebook and a pencil to scribble on the way. Children absolutely love when their parents draw something and let them to guess. This works even with the youngest kids. Draw a funny looking cat and tell your child that it is a dog. You could be amazed by how little one argues that it is not a dog. You can then ask her/him to make the picture look like a dog- few improvements by a child and the picture is nowhere near dog. In fact, it is not even a cat any more. However, this time your child will proudly announce that it is a perfect looking dog. You can carry on the conversation as you wish and try any animal or any other theme to draw

2. Make faces with different feelings and let your child guess. You can start with easy ones like "happy, sad, angry, surprised" and then move on to complicated ones like "right after you had a medicine" or "mommy's face when she/he doesnt do what he/she is told to" etc

3. In and around the house. Pretend to have a power cut for a short while. Use torches to light the rooms and to find things around the house. The houses feel quiet and the voices feel loud. Seems like a perfect time for story telling. And you can tell your own stories from childhood- these always make the best stories. In the light of a candle, you can all sit cosy and mommy starts "When I was a young girl ......"

4. We often seem to finish the unfinished jobs while kids watch TV. Alhamdulillah, I dont have one of them in my house but I let kids watch some cartoons on my laptop sometimes. While acknowledging the fact that TV certainly has a place in child's life, we have to admit that all too often, we use it as a free babysitter. Try to watch something nice with your children once in awhile. You can ask her about the characters or what is going on at some point. Watching together is more fun and far more better. You can discuss ideas, characters and what happened afterwards. Try to think of some questions to ask depending on the age of your child. My girl is only three and loves when we watch a cartoon together. Afterwards, we have a short quiz that she really awaits

5. We adore our children. We want them to give a happy life. And happy life from the start. So, we start buying things- toys that they will not even play with. Toys industry is growing bigger and bigger with babies being introduced to all sort of gadgets like remote-controlled cars or toy mobiles. I do believe toys come in handy at some point, but I am against filling in the child's room with all sorts of toys. Surprisingly, most children are more interested in everyday objects. Instead of a mini laptop with games, she/he might prefer that plastic spoons and cups. Tea towels, old boxes from packaging, crumpled paper and plastic containers to make tower blocks- all make a perfect toy for your child. As far as it is safe, I give my daughters anything in the kitchen. My oldest loves it- she takes a plastic container out and pretends to be cooking a dinner for us. So we have some of the most hilarious conversations in our kitchen. I keep asking "What are you cooking for us today?, have you put some salt? are you going to put a sugar in a soup? do you want to turn your soup into the cake? then why dont you add some eggs too?" She grabs anything within her reach and turns it into anything she needs for her dish. So, tea towels might become an egg and spoon plays the role of cucumber.

I would like to write a little bit more. But, I am off to univ shortly, need to get going. So, the rest comes in bullet points

• Remember, your child's favourite toy is YOU. Favourite music is YOUR VOICE. So, try to turn down the background noise wherever possible and try to spend time talking to your child as much as possible.
• Try to have some "special time" with your child each day. Give her a nice cuddle, and sit her in your lap and ask "what did she like most about today?"
• Everyday activities like "bath times" and "dinner times" can be a nice "play times" and "conversation times" as well.
• Try to give her some responsible tasks every day. If you are going to a local shop for some milk, ask her to remember what you need to get from the shop. Let her pay and carry the shopping bag home (you can sew some little bag for her to carry the light things)
• Try to make some funny rhymes in and around the house. The funnier- the better. The ones that doesnt make sense at all- are the best!

Once again, I came to conclusion that interacting and communicating is the only way to make the little ones more intelligent, more sensible and more reasonable. Talking, discussing and sharing ideas help them to digest knowledge and to reason thoughts depending on their age. Their brain is like a sponge and they take what they are exposed to. Expose them to good habits, good ideas and interesting and fun conversations that make them think and come to conclusion. You will be amazed how their output is advanced than your input. In other words, they come with something even better than what they were exposed to.